My name is Lucas, and I come from the Eastern Highlands Province of Papua New Guinea. I am the first of seven children born to a polygamous family consisting of one husband and four wives. I am undertaking Bachelor of Medicine & Bachelor of Surgery (MBBS).My story began when I got accepted to go to the university that offered the above mentioned course.
My father is a businessman who owns a vast expanse of land on which he farms coffee. It had been the family business for as long as I can remember. As the first born child (male) of the family, I will inherit this when he dies. He thought me everything I needed to know about coffee and I practically grew up on the farm. I, however, had other dreams of my own that I wanted to pursue and I knew that he would not approve of this. I was in 9th grade when I first got the inspiration to become a doctor. I tried to wrestle with that thought because I knew it wouldn't happen, I had the family business to take care of. But for two years straight, I realized that I had a longing within my heart to help people, to see others happy was a relief for me, especially when I know I made it possible.
My father told me to leave school at 11th grade so that I could start working with him but I lied and said that I needed the knowledge to become better than him at the business because that was my challenge if I were to take his place after he passed on. The two years of high school went by and I applied for Science Foundation at a university I cannot mention - I did not tell my father anything about this. I knew he would have never consented with my idea. December of that year approached and I received my acceptance letter. It was one of the happiest moments of my life to know that my name - the name of my family - would appear in the newspapers. I was full of joy, but it was a victory I had to celebrate alone. Now, I had only one month to find a way to tell my father about it, and trust me, if you know my father the way I do, one month would seem like a very very short period of time. It was the most complicated and heartbreaking thing I will ever have to do, but I had to do it because it was about my future.
The day came, two weeks later. I walked into his office on a tuesday afternoon and told him everything - my dreams, my plans, the acceptance letter. He was bewildered and furious. He sat there, looked me dead in the eye, and with no hint of remorse or sadness, he spoke the words that word forever haunt me: "I brought you into this world and I gave you everything that you have. I built all of this for you, so that you could one day own it and pass it to your children, my grandchildren. I personally trained you and taught you everything I knew about life, family, God, and the business. You come in here today with the courage to tell me that you do not want all that, and that you prefer to live your life the way you see fit? You have the audacity to say that to my face? Let it be clear that from the day you leave my home for whatever it is you think is better, I will see to it that you do not amount to anything that I have built. I will disown you, for ever", and then he dismissed me from the office and told me to never bring up that issue again. Tears poured down my eyes as I walked out of his office. My heart broke into a million pieces and I wept bitterly for two consecutive weeks. After that I liquified my account, got all my money, packed my bag-pack, bought myself a ticket, and left the only place I knew as home, and the only people I knew as family.
Some would say that I was ungrateful for leaving home and that it was a stupid and unwise choice. Others might say that I was wasting my time chasing a dream that I lost reality. I, however, know in my heart that I left for myself, and a future that I wanted, that I dreamed of, that I longed for. It was something I had to do for me. I miss my father, my mothers, my siblings, the plantation workers I grew up knowing, and my home. I love them so very much. And I forgive my father for doing what he had done to me. I do not blame him. I understand. I just wish that he would have given me a chance to explain myself. I just wish he would have listened.
I struggled for the past few years, and I am still struggling. I struggle to pay my own fees, to look for a place to lay my head, and to put food on the table for myself every single night. I really struggle, but not once have a regretted my decision to leave home. I know that my name will not be on his will and that I can not go back to that place I call home. But that is okay, because he has given me everything I could ever ask for, and home will always be in my heart. I know that my decision to pursue my dreams would cost me everything. But I wanted what I wanted. I wanted a different future, so I had to earn it. Without pain, there can be no gain.
Thank you father, for making me strong enough to pursue what I want, even if you wont support me. No matter where this life takes me, you will always be my father, and home will always be my home. I love you Dad, my EVERYTHING.
The struggle is real.
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